The Lyin', The Snitch and the Wardrobe
by Dingbat142001
Summary: Fifty words.  50 instances where what you wear can never really disguise you.


**Title: The Lyin', The Snitch and the Wardrobe**

**Rating:** FRK  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own any of the characters or situations that are familiar to you.  
><strong>Spoilers:<strong> Seasons 1 and 2  
><strong>Summary: <strong>Fifty words, 50 sentences, 50 instances where what you wear can never really disguise you. Deeks/Kensi.

I'm new to writing for NCISLA, so I'm hoping this will give me a feel for the characters. If I succeed, I might try something larger. Also, this is my first fic (uses the term loosely) in a year. I might be a tad rusty.

Inspired by _DemonClowSorceress_ 'Fifty Things'. Hope it's alright that I borrowed the idea...

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><p>#1 - Socks<p>

She doesn't think he notices, but every Friday she will always wear a bright, colourful pair of socks; it's her way of letting loose and celebrating the end of the work week that never really ends for them.

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><p>#2 - Wife beater<p>

It's a horrible, horrible name, but when Deeks gets pushed into a decorative fountain and is forced to remove his wet shirt for a dry one, she going to be honest with herself, she really doesn't care what they're called.

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><p>#3 - Harley Davidson<p>

He makes fun of her lack of class and her obvious lack of feminine qualities (physique aside) but he will never _ever_ make fun of her boots, not because they're Harleys and cost a day's pay, but because his nads probably wouldn't be able to handle the steel-enforced kick that would ensue.

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><p>#4 - Slacks<p>

She's at the back of the pack when they all arrive safe and sound from the customary mingling of Serbian's Chief of Defence. The boys look great in their crisp angles and sharp lines but it worries her a tad that Deeks' look particularly nice from behind.

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><p>#5 - Scarf<p>

She gave it to Hetty; she had no intention of giving it to him. Actually, at that time, she didn't even know a Marty Deeks existed, but she does now and damn his blue eyes for going too well with it.

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><p>#6 - Sandals<p>

Is it still considered role-playing to walk hand-in-hand along a beach with your partner, flip flops dangling from your other hand, when you did the same thing a week ago, only that time not as Charlie and Sarah Fuller?

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><p>#7 - Helmet<p>

"Again," she says as she pulls up beside him on her own bike and taps him on the head to prevent him removing his helmet. If he does this any longer, the first phase of his Offensive Driving course will soon be an Offensive Language course.

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><p>#8 - Leather jacket<p>

They all have one, whether it's because the thicker hide helps prevent scrapes from being flung to the ground or because they just look cooler, it's hard to say.

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><p>#9 - Skinny jeans<p>

It started as casual, whenever the other needed someone, your partner was always there, but the day he found a pair of her skinnies in his laundry he knew it was definitely more than casual.

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><p>#10 - Hat<p>

It's small and blue and has an otter monogrammed into it, but the little knit cap fits perfectly over the tufts of blond hair of their witness' son cradled in Kensi's arms. Deeks nearly chokes when he notices the boy has dark eyes much like... no. Never mind. Don't go there.

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><p>#11 - Ski goggles<p>

His informant is late as they pretend to sift through the sportswear of their neutral, unassuming meet location. Tardy snitches make her nervous but watching Deeks snap on a pair of thick ski goggles eases the anxiety.

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><p>#12 - Bra<p>

What has been seen cannot be unseen! Not that he'd want it to be...

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><p>#13 - Rubber boots<p>

Sifting through the debris of their vic's car as it washed upon shore is not on the top of her fun list. Seeing Deeks lose his balance when his boots get stuck in the sand-mud mix, now _that_ is fun.

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><p>#14 - Skates<p>

He's only ever lived in California and has never done it; she's lived everywhere else and enjoys doing it, so a week before Christmas she takes him ice skating at the arena. His body and ego are a little bruised, but he spent most of his upright time holding her hand. Worth it.

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><p>#15 - Gloves<p>

He knew this was going to be better case than most when they arrived to find a theft, not a homicide. He swears it had nothing to do with her hand that stayed a little too long in the back pocket of his jeans to steal his latex gloves.

* * *

><p>#16 - Shades<p>

He had only known her for a week, but he can honestly say that when she put a coffee cup on his forehead and removed his sun glasses, a week was hardly going to be enough.

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><p>#17 - Overalls<p>

It's no fair that Sam has to do this Op alone. It's no fair that out of anyone, he and Kensi get_ 'stabbed'_. It's no fair that once it's all said and done, he's the one left in his boxers, while she smiles smugly.

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><p>#18 - Plaid button-up<p>

An hour after going out on the field, she had coffee spilt on her by some passing idiot; 3 hours after that her extra shirt was ripped in a scuffle; 2 hours later her only remaining shirt was covered in blood from their suspects bloody nose. She went home in a red-checkered button-up that was two sizes too big.

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><p>#19 - Touque<p>

The fiasco that was Christmas 2010 was never to be repeated again, but when she saw a touque with a Shaggy and Scooby-Doo decal on it that was perfect for her delicate, wussy of a partner, she couldn't resist.

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><p>#20 - Jeans<p>

He can't help it; he's been staring at them all day. They fit right in all those places and hang perfectly from all those curves, and no, it's not a pickup line, but he also knows from experience that they look awesome on his floor, too.

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><p>#21 - Sweater<p>

He stops by because he knew their case about a girl who went out with friends only to return home to find her father executed in his Marine Greens hit her hard. She looks small, curled up on the couch in very large pullover with _Semper Fi_ embroidered on it, but she doesn't protest when he pulls her into his arms.

* * *

><p>#22 - Bikini<p>

It's no big deal, he's seen her in one a couple times before, but every time he does he has to remind himself of that fact.

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><p>#23 - Kevlar<p>

They're kinda bulky, a bit stiff, and more than just a little sweltering in the California sun, but the bullet lodged into _it_ and not her chest is probably the nicest thing he's ever seen.

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><p>#24 - Shorts<p>

The first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club. If the bruises that cover most of his torso are anything to go by, that rule also applies for his partner's Daisy Dukes.

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><p>#25 - Underwear<p>

No one has ever really seen this side of her, and he's pretty sure that if they did, he might just hurt them, but waking up to see her humming the Transformers' tune in a pair of boy-cut panties as she prepares for the day is probably first or second on his Best Wake-Up Ever List.

* * *

><p>#26 - Hijab<p>

She's female and proud of it; she's also American and proud of it, so when she and Deeks enter the Mosque their vic's brother presides over, she thanks that she's both when Deeks gives her his scarf to wrap around her head in a makeshift Hijab.

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><p>#27 - Wedding Dress<p>

It's a simple assignment: extra security for some D.O.D. Commander's wedding; he spends most of it thinking of dangerous things like Kensi in a white dress, and a garter that might just be a thigh holster.

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><p>#28 - Football jersey<p>

About the fourth time she seems him in his boxers, Deeks can't help but wonder if it's too much to ask to get a case that involves Kensi and an undercover stint in a Lingerie Football League.

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><p>#29 - Pajamas<p>

He's got a number of LAPD issued tees and sweats, but somehow they always managed to look better on her when she runs her fingers through her bedhead hair.

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><p>#30 - Sari<p>

They say Indian woman are probably the most beautiful in the world. He never really put much thought into it until he saw Kensi in a red sari. She wasn't Indian, but his jaw might have hit the ground.

* * *

><p>#31 - Cargo pants<p>

Normally, when you've got a gun, a badge, a wallet, a cell, a couple sets of keys, and a notebook and pen, you can't have enough pockets; when you can't seem to find your laser attachment fast enough, you just might have too many.

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><p>#32 - Tie<p>

He's the slightly inebriated (though totally sober) businessman; she's the company entertainment his client has brought in, and take it from him, when she fiddles with his tie and runs her finger up and down the length of it, he is very entertained.

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><p>#33 - Slippers<p>

She's probably the most violent, frightening and insane woman he's ever met. Her Winnie The Pooh slippers... nope, they do nothing to change that.

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><p>#34 - Fishnets<p>

Apparently, if you waitress as this particular club it's part of the dress code. Not surprising. What's surprising (and deliriously wonderful) is that when Hetty asked if a pair was needed, his partner said no, she already had some.

* * *

><p>#35 - Skirt<p>

She's doing it cause she knows it gets to him, the continual crossing and uncrossing of long legs under a short skirt. He fidgets at the table in the back while she stirs an untouched drink and throws a veiled smirk in his vague direction. She crosses her legs again.

* * *

><p>#36 - Tank top<p>

The first time he meets her, she's in a purple tank top. Fast-forward eight months and she's wearing the exact same one.

* * *

><p>#37 - Uniform<p>

Because she was curious, she asked Nell to dig up his academy jacket. That thing she said about men in uniform being overrated? She lied.

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><p>#38 - Suspenders<p>

How did Larry King do it? He hated them, and he'd worn them a grand total of 15 minutes. Kensi loved them and voiced this love by pulling back on the elasticated straps and giggling when he let out a grunt of pain.

* * *

><p>#39 - Bandana<p>

It smells like sweat, and tastes like it too, and when he removes it from her mouth, she almost wants to kiss him. Just to get rid of the taste, of course...

* * *

><p>#40 - Boxers<p>

Since his shooting, she stops by sporadically to make sure he's not being predictable. Today, he was lucky enough to glimpse her car pulling up and decided to (un)dress for the occasion. Apparently, answering the door in boxers depicting a penguin surfing is unpredictable enough for her.

* * *

><p>#41 - Dress<p>

As always, it's off the charts (he tells her so), and as always, she shoots him a warning 'Deeks', but what's new these days is the small smile she just can't hide or fact that her glare was hardly that.

* * *

><p>#42 - Stockings<p>

He feels like James Bond in his fancy suit and tie; he swaggers, he struts, he oozes confidence, he... nearly trips over his feet when she sits at her desk and pulls dark nylons up past her knee.

* * *

><p>#43 - T-Shirt<p>

He tries to learn something new about her every day. The day she wears a Led Zeppelin t-shirt to work he learns, on top of everything else that he knows about her, that she just might be his ideal woman.

* * *

><p>#44 - Bow tie<p>

He huffs and curses and nearly rips the thing from around his neck until his partner ever so kindly pities him and ends up taking over. His secret is that he's known since he was 20 how to perfectly knot a bow tie.

* * *

><p>#45 - Wetsuit<p>

It takes her a little longer than him to get into her wetsuit (she's probably stalling) but once she's on her board, with his guidance, of course, it takes her not time at all to show the swell and the surf who's boss.

* * *

><p>#46 - Santa hat<p>

She kinda hated him he said he had a date for Christmas. She kinda liked him a little too much when she ended up wearing a Santa hat and helping the less fortunate.

* * *

><p>#47 - Heels<p>

He doesn't know how she does it; they gotta be four inches high with a heel that's thinner than a pencil, but man, Kensi can sure run fast in them.

* * *

><p>#48 - Baseball cap<p>

For whatever reason, he's invited to the LAPD family picnic. He comes for the bacon-wrapped bite size hotdogs, until incognito Kensi (or sorry, Jill) stops by and dons an LAPD cap. Having her hang off his arm is another plus.

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><p>#49 - Button up<p>

A part of him snickers at the predictability of their target's eyes when they're drawn to the three extra undone buttons on her blouse. The part of him that confides in her, is there for her when she falls apart, and oh yeah, sleeps with her, finds nothing funny about this situation one bit.

* * *

><p>#50 - Stetson<p>

When they leave, the ranch attendant they're talking to tips his hat to her. Cute. On their way back to the car, Deeks walks like he's from an old western, speaks with a twang and pretends to lasso her. Down right adorable.

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><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong>_ Again, first attempt at LA. Be kind :) ~ I just HAD to included Harley Davidsons. I own a pair and I'm pretty sure they can withstand the apocalypse. ~ I'm Canadian, I spell touque with a U. Accept. ~ It's kinda sad, but do you have any idea how hard it is to think up 50 articles of clothing?


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